My Vibrator Is Giving Me Something To Sing About

by Raunchy Republic Manager on October 27, 2011

Did that title entice you to see what I am about to say? Good! I want to tell you all about my vibrator; also known as, my battery-operated boyfriend, my ever-faithful lover, my “who needs a man when I have you” device! It’s every woman’s best friend when her significant other is away or completely absent; or at least it should be! A vibrator won’t complain about the money you spend on shoes and clothes, it won’t judge you for wearing too much make-up or going out for a night with your best friends, and it never gives you the wrong answer to the question of, “Does my butt look big in these jeans?” All a vibrator wants to give you is love and support in your times of passionate need, and unless “his” batteries die, it never fails at delivering the earth-shattering orgasm you crave.

What’s so special about my vibrator? Why does it make me want to belt out the lyrics to “All You Need Is Love” while enjoying a naughty shower? The answer is in the design and how I choose to manoeuvre my little rubber pal. It’s just the right size to reach all my pleasure points; sending me into porn star moans that every man wishes he could give to a woman. My toy makes me spasm in ways I’d never imagined possible; and it constantly leaves me in a stunned silence because what more is it than a piece of rubber in the shape of a penis, completely operated by switches and batteries?! That simple trembling play-thing is the reason I’m still happy after a week without real intimate sex. It’s the reason I can go to work in the morning entirely satisfied and ready for the day; and it’s the first penis to ever grace my vagina with multiple orgasms. Is that not something to sing about?

Usually aesthetics of a vibrator is what really attracts most women. Will it be black and hugely veined for your pleasure? Or will it be a slender and simple with a twist knob on the base for vibration control? Most women collect sex toys like some people collect stamps because they desire something new from time to time. My vibrator is a blue shaft; about 6 inches long and 2 ½ inches wide, with ripples going up each side. It’s waterproof for those nights when a bath-time tryst with my rubber lover sounds like the perfect nightcap. It has 4 speeds of stimulating vibrations and it doesn’t drain all my battery power so I can use it for as long or as little as I want! And, one of the best parts is, it only cost me 12 dollars; for almost a year’s worth of absolute orgasmic sensations.

Do I think every woman should own a vibrator? Most definitely! Why? Masturbation is a natural and completely healthy part of getting to know your body and learning what you like. It allows you to let your prospective sexual partners know what feels good to you; plus, it’s a great stress reliever. Most women can cum quicker when they’re masturbating than they can during a sexual encounter. An added benefit is, regular orgasms keep your vagina healthy and “tight.” It’s a more fun version of the Kegels exercises you’re always hearing about!

My vibrator makes me sing because it’s a compact way to relieve my troubles and allow me to get a good night sleep after an awesome orgasm. It’s kept safe, clean, and hidden away in my dresser drawer; yet to be discovered by lover or anyone else. It’s my little secret.

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